Celeb Catch-Up #1

Hello, my name is Marlin and I’m here to give you your weekly dose of important social issues celebrity gossip!

  1. First on our list is arguably our most important. (if your a cat person…) Nina Dobrev’s cat died and I’m honestly crying. Yes, it wasn’t the cutest cat but cats are P U R E and deserve all the love. Anyways, her cat was 18 years old which is pretty old tbh. Also her cat went by more than one name which I just find so confusing but here’s a list of all the names they called her. RIP: Jamilia, Lynx, Jami, Bambi, Jinx, Jam, Poop and Jammie, may you rest in kitty heaven my sweet son.-2

  2. In other news our beloved horror (screamo literature) author Stephen King is being sued??? Ya so apparently one of his characters from “The Dark Tower” was stolen off of a comic book?? I honestly think it’s just a coincidence that they happen to look alike and the comic book writer that’s suing him is just salty that his success never came. Anyways King is being sued for 500 millions dollars, so I’ve heard, don’t take my word for it…,,, but the pictures released for his remake of IT look great! Proud of you son!-1

  3. Okay whatever, we’re going to briefly mention that, that one guy from One Direction had a baby with that one girl, congrats on your son!-3

  4. Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophia Hunter also welcomed a son to the world!-4

  5. Jared Padalecki and Genevieve Cortese also just welcomed their third son! (it was a girl)-5

  6. The Voice just completed its Battle Rounds and will be starting its Knockout Rounds next week Monday and Tuesday! Honestly the preview literally saved my life its going to be  a m a z i n g. Please someone watch it so I can talk about my sons with you,, none of my “friends” want to bond with me. -6

  7. I will not speak on Trump because this is a sacred place that I wish to not ruin with his gross, trash, uncultured, nasty, foul, disgusting, obnoxious decisions. He is not my son.acme

  8. Mel B from the Spice Girls, and judge on America’s Got Talent is getting a divorce from some guy,, I’m not fully caught up on this but ya sorry girl good luck on your divorce, I love you son!-7

  9. There’s a new doctor on Grey’s Anatomy!! Matthew Morrison who is most (lol) recognized from Glee is playing Dr. Paul Stadler! Congratulations son, I hope they don’t kill your character off like they have with almost half of them!! He’ll appear on episode 23 from the current season (13)-8

  10. And finally last in our celebrity gossip that we haven’t even made a dent in because they be doin some weird things,, Kim Kardashian wants to have a third child with her mate Kanye West but doctors warn her it could be dangerous, oooooooo. Anyways to go more in depth with this last season on Keeping Up With The Kardashians (I watch the show to keep y’all updated) when Kim was enduring the pleasure of motherhood and pregnancy; keep in mind she has birthed North already and in this scene is pregnant with Saint (her second child) doctors warned her about her having possible complications with her pregnancy that could possibly affect her or the baby. BUT nothing happened she gave birth to her baby and everything was A-Okay BUT I GUESS SHE LIKES TO POKE THE DEVIL BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY WHICH BASICALLY MAKES IT INEVITABLE THAT S O M E T H I N G WILL HAPPEN!!! All for the sake of reality tv am I right sons???? -9

Marlin Chevez

I yam who i yam.

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