The Pottyarchy: Chapter Six

Previously, on The Pottyarchy, Janice, Doug’s mother, is joining the presidential race in hopes to strengthen the pottyarchy in a personal vendetta against Barbara. Doug and NaCl have joined forces against Janice, without her knowledge, and have become closer than ever.

Doug walked carefully around his room, trying not to destroy his diagram. He’d spent all afternoon working on ways to bring down The Pottyarchy and the only answer, the only reasonable conclusion he had arrived on, was to join forces with Barbara – NaCl’s mother. The harness rested, once more, against his body as he prepared to climb down the wall in efforts to leave the salty, dark confines of his mineral-walled room.

He’d promised NaCl that they would meet at the cemetery as soon as the sun went down, but sneaking out of the house was proving to be harder than it seemed. Thus he decided to call his old friend Doggo the Mastiff, who would provide transportation to the dreaded Hickville.

It was completely inconvenient to go to Hickville and then back to Eastborne, but honestly, Doug just wanted a chance to be alone with NaCl before the big eruption. The events from a few hours ago had left him with a burning ache, and he didn’t know whether she would see him the same way afterwards.

When he arrived at the cemetery, NaCl was already there, sitting in a pool of moonlight that camouflaged her white hair. Her soft peach fuzz looked like whiskers in the light, and her green slitted eyes vibrated with happiness.

Doug approached her slowly. He was teeming with butterflies in his tummy, or maybe it was his hookworms.

“NaCl, there’s something I have to do before we go,” he whispered. “Something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time.” With that, he leaned in close to her face and licked her cheek. She purred with delight, her cat-like eyes reflected with the sinful joy she felt within her.

When they pulled away from eachother, NaCl caressed the drool Doug left on her cheek with a retained passion that rivaled Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky’s. She was looking at Doug through new eyes. Every detail about him stuck out to her all of the sudden. The way he fought to keep his tongue inside of his mouth; the gentle flick of his ear as he bats away flies; the hair growing out of his ears; and a smell that confused her nose. She’s smelled this scent before, but she couldn’t place it at the time and didn’t really care. All she wanted was him.

“Nancy?” Doug asked as he caught her staring at him.

NaCl snapped out of it and met his eyes, “So what’s the plan?”

Doug gave her a toothy grin and took her hand, “ We’re going to need your mother’s help.”

Nancy shook her head and snatched her hand away quickly from his, “I don’t want to ask her for help,” her face became enflamed with embarrassment. Doug reached for her but Nancy pulled away.

“You wouldn’t understand,” her voice became small and distant. She didn’t want Doug to know her insecurities, to tell the truth, she had never discussed the problems that occurred at home. Her mom, for as long as she could remember, had been involved in politics; never paid much attention to her in her early stages of life. Some days her mom would be so frustrated that she couldn’t come up with a speech and just yelled at everything. Even the vases. Eventually, it drove her father away. Now it was too late to ask for any attention from her mother; she didn’t need it anymore –  she didn’t want it. Yet the absence of attention had left a void that she found hard to fill. She had nurtured herself, no one was ever there for her; until she met Doug. He excited her and made her feel loved; for once she felt somewhat whole.

“You can tell me anything, NaCl,” Doug touched her arm softly.

“I will. Another time. Right now we have to head back to Eastborne,” NaCl got up and began to walk out of Betty White’s soon-to-be-mausoleum.

Doug typically didn’t pick up on other people’s body language and emotions, but he sensed that something was bothering Nancy Claire. He couldn’t put his paw on it. He followed NaCl out of Betty White’s soon-to-be mausoleum.

“Look NaCl, I’m going to be honest with you,” he told her in an urgent tone. “We need your mother. If you don’t ask her, I will. I’ll do this with or without your help.”

Nancy Claire became enraged, she pushed Doug away, “You don’t understand, Doug. She’s a nightmare! It’s fine I guess, it’s not like I wanted to be with you anyway. ”

“Fine, leave, I don’t need your help,” Doug barked.

Doug watched as NaCl stormed off, stopping over the graves of Michael Jackson and Galileo (two of the greatest people on earth).

“I know you would understand, if you were here,” she whispered to their graves. NaCl felt Doug’s presence become gloomy and detached as she made her way out of the cemetery and out of Hicksville. Part of her wished she could tell Doug what was keeping her from seeking her mom’s aid, but she believed that the world wasn’t ready to know the truth about Barbara Sandy.



Continue the Adventure:

Diana Padilla

das Leben ist kein Ponyhof.

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